


Kitten Whiskers

by Scotty1609



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Feels, Avengers Compound, Avengers Family, Beards (Facial Hair), Domestic Avengers, Emotional Baggage, Facial Shaving, Father Figures, Feels, Fluff, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Howard Stark's Bad Parenting, Hurt/Comfort, Iron dad and Spider son, Peter Parker Has Issues, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Post-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Pre-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Precious Peter Parker, Protective Tony Stark, Shaving, Teasing, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-01
Updated: 2019-03-01
Packaged: 2019-11-07 09:40:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17958089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scotty1609/pseuds/Scotty1609
Summary: (a.k.a., Lab Tools are NOT Shaving Implements, Peter!!)Clint, Sam, and Bucky just wanted to tease the kid. Only they went a little too far...When Peter gets hurt, Tony's Dad Instincts take over.





	Kitten Whiskers

**Author's Note:**

> So I read something online about Peter not needing to shave because of his baby face, and then I got The Feels because we all know Peter's dad and uncle are dead, so WHO IS GONNA TEACH OUR BABY HOW TO SHAVE?  
> ...  
> ...  
> Well, IRON DAD of course.

It was early on a Sunday morning, the day when nearly the whole team would gather at the Compound for breakfast. Sam was exceptionally good at making waffles, and Clint was an expert at frying bacon and eggs. The two bickered about who was the better chef as they cooked, Clint going so far as to launch an egg at Sam. Steve intercepted it with ease and gave Clint a disapproving glance, while Bucky called out from his spot sitting at the bar, “Spoil-sport!”

Wanda was setting the table as she usually did, being the only person who seemed to actually enjoy the activity. Vision was watching avidly as Clint taught him how to “cook the best damn sunny-side-up egg on this side of the galaxy”. Natasha was pouring two mugs of coffee, handing one to Bucky before sitting next to the man at the bar. Rhodey had gone to fetch Tony from his all-nighter in the lab, and Bruce had meandered into the living room only minutes before, yawning and popping his back.

“I'm getting too old for this,” he grumbled. The doctor smiled and greeted Wanda before helping her finish set the table.

It was then that Peter decided to make an appearance, rubbing at his bleary eyes as he shuffled into the kitchen. “Mornin',” he mumbled before sliding onto the bar chair next to Bucky. He had gotten in late the night before after spending all of Saturday with Ned and MJ and had gone straight to his room at the Compound to sleep afterwards.

“Morning,” Bucky drawled, smirking at the teenager. Peter didn't know why Bucky was looking at him like that, but then Sam turned to him and laughed out loud.

“Well shit, kid, you finally growing some stubble, there?”

Clint looked over at Peter and grinned. “Naw, looks more like peach fuzz to me.”

The men laughed and Peter turned bright red, a hand going to cover the few hairs on his chin. “ _Guys_ ,” he croaked out, embarrassed.

Steve nudged Peter's side as he went to grab Bucky's coffee and drink from it, ignoring the man's protests. “Don't worry, Pete, it'll grow in soon.”

“Yea,” Clint agreed, reaching over to ruffle Peter's hair. “Just shave it and it'll grow faster. You'll have Thor's beard in no time.”

Peter squirmed a bit, looking rather uncomfortable, and protested, “I don't wanna shave it.”

“Okay, if you wanna stay looking like a baby coconut then, be my guest.”

“ _Clint_ ,” Natasha warned the archer, glancing sideways at Peter. The teenager's blush had only deepened, and he was looking anywhere but at the other men.

“Yea, Pete,” Sam chuckled as he plated some waffles, completely ignoring Natasha and Clint, “pretty sure Grandma Falcon has more stubble than you do.”

Peter was quiet, and when Wanda looked up at him, his eyes were wet. “Peter...?” she spoke gently from across the kitchen. “What-”

“Oh come on, kid,” Clint seemed uncomfortable at Peter's silence, but didn't know how else to treat it but with humor. “You don't have to be upset. Like I said, just shave it off and you'll have Stark's signature goatee in a minute-”

“I _can't_!” Peter snapped, glaring at Clint. “I don't know how to-” The teen cut himself off, his red face suddenly turning pale.

Clint and Sam were suddenly buckling over in laughter. “How old are you, kid?” Sam snorted. “And you don't know how to shave?”

Wanda could sense the emotions building up in Peter- embarrassment, frustration, and _pain-_ but as she went to silence Clint and Sam, Clint choked out, “D'aww, baby's first kitten whiskers-”

“ _SHUT UP!_ ”

Everyone looked alarmed at the boy's outburst, and when they turned to Peter they could see the tears glistening in his eyes. Peter looked anguished, the blood rushing to his head and ears as he cried out, “It's not like I have anyone to _teach_ me!!”

The ensuing silence was deafening. The bacon began to burn as Clint stood up straight, his expression pained. “Pete, we-”

But Peter was already up and rushing from the room. He nearly bowled over the newly-arrived Tony and Rhodey in his rush to the elevator, and before Tony could even open his mouth to ask what was wrong, Peter was gone.

Everyone was quiet when Tony spun on his heel to demand, “What did you guys do to the kid?”

“We were just teasing him,” Bucky defended.

Steve sighed at his friend. “You guys took it a little far.”

“Yea,” Sam frowned, “but he didn't have to take it so seriously.”

“ _Really_?!” Wanda exploded, causing the other Avengers to look at her. The woman's hands were fisted at her sides, and her eyes held a deathly glare. “Could you all not _tell_ he was upset? I could sense his _distress_ \- it was _agonizing_ and it- it-” Wanda took a deep breath, closing her eyes. When she opened them again, her glare had gone soft. “Peter has lost more than many of us... We cannot underestimate his pain.”

“...The _hell_ did you guys say to my kid?!” Tony all but shouted, nearly stomping his foot in frustration.

“We were just messing with him,” Clint said, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “But we took it a little too far, like Steve said... You should talk to him, Stark. I think he needs some... advice.”

Tony huffed- still confused- but rather than giving Clint a response, he turned around and went straight back into the elevator. Once the doors closed, Tony said, “FRIDAY, where's Peter?”

“ _In the lab, sir. He appears to be distressed.”_

“Yea, we have both bird-brains and Frosty the fuck-up to blame for that,” Tony grumbled. “Take me back to the lab.”

“ _Of course, sir.”_

When Tony got down to the lab, he didn't see Peter right away. “FRIDAY, where's the kid?”

“ _In the bathroom, sir.”_

When Tony entered the bathroom to the left of the laboratory, he nearly had a heart attack.

“ _PETER_! What the _hell_ are you doing?!”

The teenager, red-faced and teary-eyed, was holding a safety razor to his cheek. Tony took two strides forward and was suddenly in Peter's personal space. He snatched the blade from the boy's hand, holding it as far away as his arm would reach. “What the _hell_ were you doing?!” Tony exclaimed again. “We do not use _lab tools_ as _shaving implements_ , Peter!”

“What else am I supposed to use?!” Peter snapped, sounding more angry than Tony expected him to.

Tony sighed, rolling his eyes. “I dunno, maybe a _shaving razor_ instead of a _knife_?”

“It's not a _knife_ ,” Peter protested. “It's even _called_ a razor!”

“It's not a _shaving_ razor though, kiddo,” Tony sighed again, more defeated this time. “Kid,” he said calmly, “ _Why_ are you trying to shave with this?” Tony asked the teen as he retracted the blade on the tool, stuffing it in his back pocket.

Peter was silent, looking down at his socked feet. He was sniffling, and Tony could feel the discomfort radiating from the boy.

“Kiddo...” Tony lifted Peter's chin with a finger. “Talk to me.”

The dam broke, and everything started flooding out.

“I know they were just kidding, I _know_ , but it still _hurt,_ and I couldn't say anything because it's just me being stupid because I should already know how to do it, and even if I don't know how to do it I should be able to figure it out because it's _easy_ , right?? But May only shaves her legs and I can't ask _Ned_ because he doesn't even _have_ facial hair yet, and it's not like there are any Captain America PSA's on how to shave and- and- Uncle Ben- he- I was only thirteen when he- so I couldn't ask how to- to- to-”

Peter breath was coming in short gasps, the tears in his eyes bubbling over. Tony quickly put his hands on the boy's shoulders, instructing him to breathe. “C'mon, Pete, with me. In for four, hold for four, out for six. Okay? In, two, three, four... Hold, two, three, four...”

It took a few repeats of the exercise for Peter to calm down, but eventually the teenager was able to breathe again. He looked up at Tony, still crying, and said in the tiniest voice Tony had ever heard, “I don't know _how_.”

Tony's heart was breaking. His own father never taught him those stereotypical 'man' things: how to put on cuff-links, how to tie a tie, how to shave. Jarvis had taught him them all, with a crisp professional air that tinted the memory. No, Jarvis had never been _cold_ about teaching Tony those things- he had actually been rather loving. But the love that Tony wanted was not from Jarvis. He already _had_ Jarvis's love. The love he wanted was from _Howard_. Howard, who smacked Tony around more than he hugged him. Howard, who said “do it better” instead of “good job”. Howard, who was too busy to teach his damn kid how to shave, so he asked the butler to do it instead.

Tony ran a hand through Peter's hair, smoothing it down. “Well, you haven't had anyone to teach you,” he spoke gently to the boy.

“I don't _have_ anyone to teach me...” Peter muttered, looking utterly dejected.

“ _Ouch_ , kiddo,” Tony quipped as he clutched at his chest in faux pain. “What do you take me for? A terrible mentor? An incompetent teacher? A-”

“No, no, Mr. Stark!” Peter objected, shaking his hands wildly. “You're a _great_ mentor- the _best_ \- I'm just-”

Tony reached into the medicine cabinet, pulling out a facial razor and a fresh box of blades. “Well, first things first, you're gonna need to wash your face. Then, you're gonna need some foam or gel- I prefer foam- and none of that scented stuff either. That shit will burn your skin if you cut it-”

“M-Mr. Stark?”

Tony glanced over his shoulder at Peter. The boy's jaw was open in shock, his eyes wide.

“What?” There was no heat in Tony's bite. “I'm teaching you how to shave.”

And hell, Peter looked close to tears again.

“I'm not trying to replace Ben,” Tony rushed out, suddenly panicked, “because Lord knows he was a better man than me, and I'm not trying to replace your dad, either, because I'm _definitely_ not fit for fatherhood and you're too old to be the kid of a young stud like me, so-” Tony was cut off by Peter rushing forward and hugging him tightly. The man coughed a bit, looking away from Peter as he rubbed the boy's back. “Yea, yea, you can thank me later, _after_ you have all the nicks.”

“ _Thank you_ , Mr. Stark,” Peter responded anyways, pulling away from his mentor with a mushy look on his face. It absolutely did _not_ make Tony smile.

“Well, kid, let's get started.”

It was nearly a half hour later that Tony and Peter emerged from the bathroom. Peter had only nicked himself once under his mentor's careful watch, and had a tiny piece of tissue paper over the cut. He grinned up at Tony as the man ruffled his hair. “And _that_ , short-stop, is how you shave.”

“Thanks, Mr. Stark,” Peter spoke reverently as he looked up at his mentor. “And... Mr. Stark?”

“Yea, kid?”

“I think you'd make a _great_ dad.”

Tony let out a strangled cough, and, before he could stop himself, he replied: “Yea, well, you'd make an awesome son.”

Peter beamed, and Tony didn't tear up even a little bit.

He _didn't_.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I know that May could probably teach Peter how to shave, and I'm not trying to undermine their relationship or say anything about any kind of gender stereotypes, but...... JUST IMAGINE IRON DAD TEACHING HIS SPIDER SON HOW TO SHAVE. IMAGINE HOW CUTE IT WOULD BE.  
> IMAGINE.  
> I need fan-art of Iron Dad teaching Spider Son how to shave.... IT WOULD BE SO FCUKING CUTE.
> 
> Thanks so much for reading! If you have any Iron Dad and Spider Son prompts, or any Winter Dad and Spider Son prompts (I've recently become a HUGE fan of Bucky and Peter bonding) leave them in the comments! I'd love to write more :D


End file.
